Baby mama drama...  

secret_lade 47F
12788 posts
7/22/2021 4:52 pm
Baby mama drama...


And, I'm the baby mama.

Only, the baby in question is eighteen years old and at marine corps boot camp....

Boot Camp Boy's latest letter arrived today!

I ripped that sucker open while I was still standing at my mailbox. I can't even begin to describe the what I feel when I see a letter from him.

Pride that I have such an honorable young man for a !

Sadness because I miss him so damn much!

Joy when he shares his latest skills accomplishments!

Shame that I sometimes wish he would fail so he will come back home!

Guilt when I go somewhere or experience something fun because he is missing out!

Today I felt a hot bed of seething anger!

In today's letter Boot Camp Boy said he was disappointed in his dad because he hasn't written him a single letter.

Six weeks at boot camp and not one single letter!

The part that angers me most is, two weeks ago the Ex Husband and I already got into an argument about this very subject. He told me then he hadn't written any letters and he didn't plan to.

I thought I was going to kill him on the spot.

"What do you mean you aren't writing him any letters?!? What the fuck is wrong with you???? After everything that HAS DONE FOR YOU over the years the LEAST you can do is WRITE HIM A FUCKING LETTER!!"

I had been so mad at that moment that I fully planned on getting in my car and leaving.

"Letters from home only make you homesick. I used to hate getting letters from home."

"This is [Boot Camp Boy], this isn't you, and he wants a fucking letter from his dad or he wouldn't be asking you for a fucking letter!"

I was climbing into my car when the Ex Husband told me he would write him a letter.

So, imagine my surprise to read in today's letter that he was disappointed in his dad because he still hasn't sent him any letters.

After about a fifteen minute cry this mama caused some drama.

I hopped in my car, drove to the ex's, had a screaming fit, clearly tossed aside any ounce of dignity I once had and demanded he write his .

I even threw paper and envelopes at him.

Ugh

I was a raptor ready to tear her prey to shreds. My eyes were narrowed, my lips were curled into a sneer, my hands were balled into fists at my side, and I'm certain if I'd seen myself in the mirror I'd be unrecognizable to even me.

The Ex Husband was mad, of course, and walked away from me. For as long as I've known him he has never raised his voice to me. He may say some really terrible, ugly things, but he has never yelled at me or been physical.

"I'll write him a letter."

He disappeared into the house and I got into my car and left.

I really hope he writes that a goddamn letter. I'm a little worried I might just kill my ex if he doesn't.

secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/24/2021 9:54 pm

    Quoting lickeyzsplit:
    Great Job !! Sometimes people need their cages rattled so they wake up from being comfortably numb all the time !!
I feel bad that I got so ugly angry.... Irish temper. He deserved it though.


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/24/2021 9:53 pm

    Quoting upsidedownsky:
    I think that even your x-husband's reasoning, regarding his trips abroad, are in no way valid.

    Your son is not on a trip abroad. He is in an institutional construct, that is both challenging & oppressive.

    I just think one has to had have suffered, to really understand.

    And if he cannot wrap his mind around the thing, he might as well get kicked by mules for an eternity.

    This makes me think of my dad.

    When he was alive, he would always take the time to write me, if I was in a fucked up place. But not just me, he would write anyone that he knew was in a fucked up place.

    I just think this sort of thing matters, tremendously. (You cannot properly gauge the effect you have on people, when they are going through challenging times, and they see someone reach out to them.)

    But then, my dad road trains across the country, and ate rats in alleys, and survived some fucked up situations. But, in general, he was just a very cool person.

    I don't like to judge people and I know we have our own unique reasons.

    ... SL as a velociraptor...
There is no comparison to what he did and what our son is doing. He was traveling with his best friend moving from state to state because he wanted to. My ex husband is a really selfish person, it took me quite a few years to really see how selfish. You were lucky to have your dad.... He sounded very supportive.


upsidedownsky 41M  
600 posts
7/24/2021 11:25 am

I think that even your x-husband's reasoning, regarding his trips abroad, are in no way valid.

Your son is not on a trip abroad. He is in an institutional construct, that is both challenging & oppressive.

I just think one has to had have suffered, to really understand.

And if he cannot wrap his mind around the thing, he might as well get kicked by mules for an eternity.

This makes me think of my dad.

When he was alive, he would always take the time to write me, if I was in a fucked up place. But not just me, he would write anyone that he knew was in a fucked up place.

I just think this sort of thing matters, tremendously. (You cannot properly gauge the effect you have on people, when they are going through challenging times, and they see someone reach out to them.)

But then, my dad road trains across the country, and ate rats in alleys, and survived some fucked up situations. But, in general, he was just a very cool person.

I don't like to judge people and I know we have our own unique reasons.

... SL as a velociraptor...

*. *. *


lickeyzsplit 58M  
1303 posts
7/23/2021 11:23 pm

Great Job !! Sometimes people need their cages rattled so they wake up from being comfortably numb all the time !!


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 10:18 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    Let's hope your ex husband realised that there's no fury like a woman scorned.
It takes a lot for me to get that angry..... But when I do.


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 10:16 pm

    Quoting jolielaide:
    sorry, don't mean to be judgey but ex sounds like an doofus. i get it, some people are not letter writers but it wouldn't kill to drop a postcard in the mail and a couple of lines of encouragement or thinking of you kiddo will do.

    my mother lives 10 minutes from me and i write her a letter a couple of times a month just because i know that she like to get letters in the mail.

    besides the fact that HE may not have liked letters from home, this isn't about him but he sure is making it out to be with some fuck shit excuse; letters from home make you homesick. jesus h. christ.
He is a doofus. I won't dispute that. It's his loss, though.... Because our son is going to remember that his dad never wrote him while he was away and that will be forever imprinted on him.


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 10:12 pm

    Quoting bustinout20202:
    IWow BJ, I hope he writes a letter too...the asshole will look funny sporting a new asshole!
    I don't blame you for your anger, Mama Bear!
    My hubs doesn't write cards and letters much for his family either. He always wants me to do it and says "you have better handwriting than I do"...
According to my daughter, he did write a letter today. Personally, I don't think he wanted to face his feelings over all this, he chooses to be an unemotional asshole as much as possible if given a choice. If he sits down to write our son, then he's faced with the realization that he is gone now and won't be back for a long time.


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 10:10 pm

    Quoting CUMHANDLEME:
    My suggestion is if your ex husband does not write a letter for you to take matters into your own hands.

    Take a card to your ex for him to sign. Inform him you're not leaving until he signs & addresses the card to your son. You mail it.

    I would inform him you'll be back every week to do the same unless he starts to send cards/letters on his own.

    If a grown man wants to act like a child he will be treated like a child.
My daughter texted me today and said he wrote him a letter today. I guess I finally got through to him.....


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 10:04 pm

    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    Your ex is an ass. If your son was younger you could write a letter yourself and sign his name but that probably won't work in this case. I really hope he writes the letter but we can't control what other people do.
He is an ass, I totally agree. Some people just can't see beyond their own wants and needs.....


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 10:02 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I love letters, but rarely get them. I save hand written notes, they're so personal.
Aside from the letters I receive from my son, I haven't gotten a hand written letter in years and years. It's definitely a lost form of communication.


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 9:59 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    Even a greeting card with the ex's signature on it, maybe a couple of words, would be better than nothing at all. Seems like the ex has some issues that he's projecting onto Boot Camp Boy. Thank goodness your son doesn't seem to have those same issues!
Of my 3 kids, he's definitely the one who is most sensitive. Very respectful of everyone, cares about peoples thoughts and feelings, he is a lot like me in a lot of ways as he is easily hurt, also.


citizen4722 63M  
72706 posts
7/23/2021 1:48 pm

Let's hope your ex husband realised that there's no fury like a woman scorned.


jolielaide 50F  
1670 posts
7/23/2021 11:06 am

sorry, don't mean to be judgey but ex sounds like an doofus. i get it, some people are not letter writers but it wouldn't kill to drop a postcard in the mail and a couple of lines of encouragement or thinking of you kiddo will do.

my mother lives 10 minutes from me and i write her a letter a couple of times a month just because i know that she like to get letters in the mail.

besides the fact that HE may not have liked letters from home, this isn't about him but he sure is making it out to be with some fuck shit excuse; letters from home make you homesick. jesus h. christ.


bustinout20202 64F  
737 posts
7/23/2021 9:17 am

IWow BJ, I hope he writes a letter too...the asshole will look funny sporting a new asshole!
I don't blame you for your anger, Mama Bear!
My hubs doesn't write cards and letters much for his family either. He always wants me to do it and says "you have better handwriting than I do"...

~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~


CUMHANDLEME 59F  
757 posts
7/23/2021 8:31 am

My suggestion is if your ex husband does not write a letter for you to take matters into your own hands.

Take a card to your ex for him to sign. Inform him you're not leaving until he signs & addresses the card to your son. You mail it.

I would inform him you'll be back every week to do the same unless he starts to send cards/letters on his own.

If a grown man wants to act like a child he will be treated like a child.

Do you have any Primal Urges ... I do, please CUMHANDLEME and explore some of my naughty and nice Primal ... Urges with me !!!


hippiechick1967 57F
13147 posts
7/23/2021 7:35 am

Your ex is an ass. If your son was younger you could write a letter yourself and sign his name but that probably won't work in this case. I really hope he writes the letter but we can't control what other people do.

Elevate me...


mc_justmc 61M  
6752 posts
7/23/2021 4:53 am

I love letters, but rarely get them. I save hand written notes, they're so personal.


pagancountrygirl 63F
5981 posts
7/23/2021 4:17 am

Even a greeting card with the ex's signature on it, maybe a couple of words, would be better than nothing at all. Seems like the ex has some issues that he's projecting onto Boot Camp Boy. Thank goodness your son doesn't seem to have those same issues!

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 2:49 am

    Quoting Txnaturalist:
    Clearly, it seems, ex-husband has personal issues much deeper than writing a simple letter to his son. I feel your pain and totally understand your righteous anger. As the old saying goes, you can lead a jackass to water, but you can't make him drink.
My ex husband likes to remain emotionally vacant. He tends to be angry about most things and is a constant complainer. It's kind of sad because he wasn't always like this. I almost feel like he's using this whole letter thing as an emotional 'get even' with our son for leaving and going into the Marines.


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/23/2021 2:41 am

When he was younger, he lived away from Michigan for several years and he said during that time he was always fine until he got a letter from home. Once he got a letter from home, he was homesick. His theory is that our son won't be homesick if he doesn't get letters. Here's the thing, when your child is writing you and asking you to write them, that means they WANT letters. He has been writing me and asking why dad isn't writing him. My ex husband is selfish and doesn't want to feel feelings. If he writes that letter to our son, he'll be forced to feel feelings. I know when I write those letters it's an emotional experience.


Txnaturalist 73M
1 post
7/22/2021 9:28 pm

Clearly, it seems, ex-husband has personal issues much deeper than writing a simple letter to his son. I feel your pain and totally understand your righteous anger. As the old saying goes, you can lead a jackass to water, but you can't make him drink.


boobwhisperer69 58M  
7488 posts
7/22/2021 9:21 pm

What was his reason for not doing it?


secret_lade 47F
8053 posts
7/22/2021 4:53 pm

And, I'm the baby mama.

Only, the baby in question is eighteen years old and at marine corps boot camp....

Boot Camp Boy's latest letter arrived today!

I ripped that sucker open while I was still standing at my mailbox. I can't even begin to describe the what I feel when I see a letter from him.

Pride that I have such an honorable young man for a son!

Sadness because I miss him so damn much!

Joy when he shares his latest skills accomplishments!

Shame that I sometimes wish he would fail so he will come back home!

Guilt when I go somewhere or experience something fun because he is missing out!

Today I felt a hot bed of seething anger!

In today's letter Boot Camp Boy said he was disappointed in his dad because he hasn't written him a single letter.

Six weeks at boot camp and not one single letter!

The part that angers me most is, two weeks ago the Ex Husband and I already got into an argument about this very subject. He told me then he hadn't written any letters and he didn't plan to.

I thought I was going to kill him on the spot.

"What do you mean you aren't writing him any letters?!? What the fuck is wrong with you???? After everything that kid HAS DONE FOR YOU over the years the LEAST you can do is WRITE HIM A FUCKING LETTER!!"

I had been so mad at that moment that I fully planned on getting in my car and leaving.

"Letters from home only make you homesick. I used to hate getting letters from home."

"This is [Boot Camp Boy], this isn't you, and he wants a fucking letter from his dad or he wouldn't be asking you for a fucking letter!"

I was climbing into my car when the Ex Husband told me he would write him a letter.

So, imagine my surprise to read in today's letter that he was disappointed in his dad because he still hasn't sent him any letters.

After about a fifteen minute cry this mama caused some drama.

I hopped in my car, drove to the ex's, had a screaming fit, clearly tossed aside any ounce of dignity I once had and demanded he write his son.

I even threw paper and envelopes at him.

Ugh

I was a raptor ready to tear her prey to shreds. My eyes were narrowed, my lips were curled into a sneer, my hands were balled into fists at my side, and I'm certain if I'd seen myself in the mirror I'd be unrecognizable to even me.

The Ex Husband was mad, of course, and walked away from me. For as long as I've known him he has never raised his voice to me. He may say some really terrible, ugly things, but he has never yelled at me or been physical.

"I'll write him a letter."

He disappeared into the house and I got into my car and left.

I really hope he writes that kid a goddamn letter. I'm a little worried I might just kill my ex if he doesn't.


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