Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
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Grey skies are going to clear up....
Posted:Sep 10, 2016 8:50 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2016 7:16 pm
4270 Views

So, put on a happy face!

Ugh.... I'm having difficulty putting on my happy face today, for certain.

My work personality is cheerful, and smiley, and super excited about the most trivial shit. You found a lip balm you like? Awesome!!! You like the smell of apples? I have JUST the products for you!!! Can you use your coupon? Abso-fucking-lutely!!!!

I HATE my work personality.

I still feel drained from yesterday's monster of a work day and I'm due to head back in less than an hour.

Wonderful......
0 Comments
What are the most memorable moments of my day?
Posted:Sep 9, 2016 7:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2016 4:59 am
5016 Views

Well, let me tell you.....

A mentally challenged woman pulled my hair. Not once, not twice, but THREE times! Seriously?!? Her caregiver did nothing about it.

The cutest baby gave me the most beautiful smile. I can't help but love babies.

A man with dentures lost his teeth as he was talking to me on the sales floor. Too bad we don't sell polygrip.....

A goat head-butted me off my ex-husband's porch. Yah, it's Old McDonald's farm over there.

The best part of my day, though, was picking my up from their dad's. I haven't seen them in a couple of days, I surely do miss them when they aren't around.
2 Comments
Um..... Yah.
Posted:Sep 8, 2016 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 8:13 am
4477 Views

It was THAT kind of day.

I've been having a lot of those lately.

I wasted an entire can of hairspray at work today. Like the klutz that I am, I dropped it and the sprayer broke off.

It looked like a bug bomb, filling the air with a toxic mist of sticky residue.

I don't know who's hairspray it was, but the can was emptied in about 30 seconds flat.

Looks like I owe someone a can of Rave.
1 comment
Uncomfortable Small Talk
Posted:Sep 6, 2016 6:55 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 8:12 am
4881 Views

Is it really necessary?

The compulsive need to fill moments of silence with words, any words, whether it makes sense or not......

Got my hair cut today by a woman who proceeded to tell me about her life in painfully boring detail. Twice she had to start over a story from the beginning because she lost herself in details of monotony.

It didn't help that she was totally nervously uncomfortable.

Like.... Just got her cosmetologist license and still didn't feel comfortable in her own skin, nervous.

Yikes....

I REALLY have to find a regular stylist.
2 Comments
Those 3 magic words every parent wants to hear....
Posted:Sep 5, 2016 6:44 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2016 7:31 pm
5599 Views

BACK TO SCHOOL

Could it be?

Have I managed to survive yet ONE more summer of.....

"I'm hungry."

"I'm bored."

"Who took my headphones?!"

"Where's my shoes?"

"Dad doesn't care if I do this."

"Dad's house is more fun."

Nothing beats the first day of school for a parent. The magic moment the door closes, and the head off to school, your life begins again. Your time is your own, once again, to do what you want with.

Aaahhhhh........
8 Comments
The sweetest words I heard this morning?
Posted:Sep 5, 2016 7:02 am
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2016 4:14 pm
2917 Views

You have the day off!

Woo Hoo!!!

Any unexpected day off from work is THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!

After the day I had yesterday, I couldn't have asked for anything better.
1 comment
What a fucking PISSER of a day!
Posted:Sep 4, 2016 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2016 8:07 am
5352 Views

If it could go wrong? It did.

If I could knock it over? It went flying.

If I could spill anything? It spilled.

It was one of THOSE kinds of days, and, let me tell you, I would quit my job this instant if I could.

The fucking bitch who was rude to me at the counter yesterday was back at the store today. I know the ONLY reason why she came in was to be a bitch, probably hoping I wasn't working, so she could get me fired or something.

The minute she stepped through the door she went straight to one of the floor associates and asked if she was a manager. Assuming she was, she went right into a rant about how I was the worst customer service associate who has ever helped her and that I had no business helping the public.

The floor associate was upset and snapped back at the customer.

She came to me afterword to tell me what happened because it is ME who was actually the manager on staff. I told her not to worry about it, it won't be the last time a customer decides to hate me for no reason.

Her response was probably the one bright spot in my day, though.

She said, "I can't let something like that happen without saying something to them. You are an absolute sweetheart, you don't deserve that kind of treatment."

It probably killed the fucking bitch when I waited on her, once again, at the counter and smiled the entire time. When I thanked her and wisher her a good evening, she wouldn't even look at me, just turned on her heel and left.

Fucking twat....
6 Comments
Underwire bras are the devil!
Posted:Sep 3, 2016 7:08 pm
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2016 3:58 pm
6197 Views

Body contorting, soul sucking, harnesses of doom......

Argh!!!!

Half way through my work shift today one of the wires in my bra decided to break free and continually stab my inner arm every time I moved.

I may be paralyzed on the right side of my body as a result.

What type of person comes up with such a maniacal torture device for women????

I wish I was one of those women who could throw on a fancy, shmancy string of lace bra and skip through life all cutesy and dainty.

Alas, I am not.

I'm stuck wearing 10lbs of granny bra that comes in two widths of bra strap:

Wide and Super Wide

I had a conversation earlier today about how I hated having a large chest. This would be a perfect example why.
9 Comments
Another frazzled Friday....
Posted:Sep 2, 2016 7:18 pm
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2016 6:56 pm
5175 Views

Work was insane tonight.

My feet hurt. There's just nothing like running back and forth across a cement floor for 8 hours to tire you out. I don't even feel like taking a shower tonight...

And I probably won't.

It's not like I'm sharing my bed with anyone anyway.....
1 comment
Fun at the Beach
Posted:Sep 1, 2016 2:23 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2016 7:57 pm
4794 Views

The warmth of the sun caressed my body as the sound of waves rhythmically lapping the shore lulled me into a nearly intoxicated slumber.

So very relaxed.....

Struggling to open my heavy lids, I smiled at the sight of you approaching.

"There you are, I was wondering when you would get here," I had been lounging a while already, a beer or two already under my belt. Fine granules of beach sand clung to my skin, my ass hurt from the firmness of the sand beneath my beach towel.

"I told you I had to stop by the office and do a couple things before I could head out." I was pouting, you were playing right along. "How about if I make it up to you?"

"How do you plan to make it up to me?" A sly smile played across my lips as I peeked up at you from behind my sunglasses.

"Hmmmm....." Kneeling down next to me, you parted my thighs and gently caressed. "I was thinking maybe a cool swim and a nice dinner."

"OK," struggling to sit up, the combination of alcohol, sun, and sand was working it's wonders on me. I leaned against your chest and laughed at my awkwardness.

"Maybe I should just come down to your level," you chuckled back, taking your place next to me on the sand.

"You're going to get sand in your hair," leaning down, I gently kissed your lips and smoothed my hand across your chest.

"Sand in my hair is the least of my worries. I'm a little more concerned about sand in the OTHER places," your laughter echoed across the water.

"Let's go somewhere a little more.... Private." My body was aching to have you inside me.

"It can't get more private than this, it's just us out here," with an exaggerated sweep of your hand, you motioned to the empty beach.

Leaning down, I kissed you again, this time smoothing my hand down to your firming cock. Pulsing in my hand through the light fabric of your shorts, I lightly stroked your cock as I gently bit your lower lip.

"Take your suit off." Your voice was husky, demanding.

"What if someone comes?"

"Nobody is coming. Take it off."

Hesitant, I removed the bottom portion of my suit but left the top. In the blink of an eye you were already laying next to me, naked, erect cock anxiously awaiting me.

Taking one last, nervous gaze at the beach around us, I climbed astride you, the length of you disappearing inside me. My muscles tightened as I moaned a little, your hips involuntarily thrusting a little deeper inside me. Leaning forward, I placed my hands on your chest to catch my balance, the sand digging into my knees.

"You are a bad girl, aren't you."

"Shhhhh... "

Grinding my hips, I loved to have you deep inside me, the way it felt to have the head of your cock hitting my cervix, the arousal I achieved from having my clit rub against your skin.

Within minutes I moaned out in ecstasy, the excitement of it all hitting me hard.

"Thank God.... I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to hold out for you," your reply was throaty with lust, your hands held onto my hips, pulling desperately. With a low groan, your cock pulsed inside me as you held it deep and climaxed.

Easing from you slowly, I reclaimed my spot on the towel once again, legs aching, knees red with embedded beach sand.

"I think I'm ready for that swim."

"Yep, I think I am too. There's a whole lotta sand in my ass crack."

Lots of great ideas! Thanks so much for the input!

I was actually able to incorporate quite a few things.... Sex on the beach is definitely on my bucket list. Oddly enough, I dated a guy who lived 5 minutes from Lake Michigan and never got the opportunity to check that bad boy off my list, which means I was also able to incorporate a fantasy with a past lover as well.

I definitely need to expand my vocabulary again, and my writing is a little rough, but not bad for the first pass. It's been about 4 years since I've written anything. It felt kind of nice to get the old creative juices flowing.
0 Comments
I'm a little rusty....
Posted:Sep 1, 2016 6:06 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2016 7:19 pm
4302 Views

Writing is my forte, something I've always done well. It is my escape when life feels suffocating, my release when I am frustrated, an open dialogue when I feel the need to communicate.

I love to write.

Unfortunately, I've allowed that part of me to slip away.

Thankfully it is a craft that merely requires imagination and practice. Be prepared as I plan to practice here, from time to time.

I need a little audience participation today.

I'm looking for ideas on a short story. It can be any genre, as loose or as specific as you choose. The idea that piques my interest most gets chosen.

Thank you for your participation!
3 Comments
5 Things I Learned Today
Posted:Aug 31, 2016 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2016 12:09 am
5248 Views

1. It costs $150 to remove a skin tag from your body. How do I know this? An old couple came into the store today and filled me in on the various details of skin tag removal while showing me skin tags on the various parts of their body. Yes, I did say 'their'.

2. My disgusting neighbors who live across the hall have moved. Praise the lord!!!!

3. Do not leave your window open around a restless chicken. I stopped at my Ex-Husband's house to pick my up after work today and left my drivers side window open. When we went to leave, there sat the chicken, in the drivers seat, planning his escape.

4. I'm freaked out by dragonflies. My humiliating best happened today when I ran screaming from the front of the store after a dragonfly charged me. I swear it clipped my ear.

5. Chocolate fudge zucchini cake is fucking awesome! I may just have to attempt to make that one myself!
4 Comments
Awkward Moment of the Day
Posted:Aug 30, 2016 4:48 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2016 12:22 am
4786 Views

How was my day?

Let me tell you....

An old guy and his wife came into the store today. The wife went to look at soaps and the old guy just kind of wandered around for a while.

He looked a little bored so I approached him and asked him what I could help him find.

His response?

"This store always makes me feel so sexually aroused."

Um..... What????

My response?

"Oh My God..... Ok then.... On that note....." I turned and started to walk away, but he was following behind me. He then proceeded to tell me the reason he felt so sexually aroused was because of the smells.

I have felt uncomfortable sales moments before, but this one literally took the cake. I'm not sure what could ever manage to top that.
3 Comments

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