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Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
Welcome to my blog!
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Home School Hell
Posted:Apr 5, 2020 5:22 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2020 3:49 am
35132 Views

The governor has decided the best thing for the is allow them do learning from home the rest of the year.

Fan-freaking-tastic!!

Like, getting them do their homework wasn't ALREADY bad enough, now I have make sure they are actually DOING the online learning.

I feel a love / hate relationship already in the making.

I took both phones away this morning until both logged on and enrolled in their courses, making sure to review for any assignments that are already assigned / due in said classes.

The only assignment that was actually due was one for ME.

Good God....

So, this is how it's going to be. I get to work all week, monitor the to ensure they are doing their work, and fuck around with stupid questionnaires about whether or not I have internet or a basic knowledge of the concepts the math teacher is teaching.

Thankfully it turned out to be a relatively nice day today... So the Spawn and I decided to go for a walk.

It felt SO good to get out into the sunshine today... We aren't allowed to do much anymore so we ended up passing a zillion other walkers on the walking path.

Everyone practiced their social distancing, keeping to the opposite side of the path and only exchanging a brief hello or smile as we passed. I made sure to keep the Spawn on the super outside of the path while she attempted to teach me Tic Toc dance moves and tell me about how I looked like a "Middle Aged Rich Speed Walker."

WTF???

I was in the middle of asking her what the hell she was talking about when my phone started buzzing. Glancing at it expecting to see a text, I saw nothing, and kept talking.

It buzzed again.

This time I looked a little more closely. Still not seeing anything, I assumed it was my endomondo telling me we had made the mile mark and kept walking.

Again, it buzzed.

"What the fuck is happening with my phone?"

I pulled it back out, unlocked it, and saw the Faceplace indicator in the upper left hand corner. Touching on it, expecting to see someone had liked a post or commented, I was startled to see it was an indicator telling me 6 guys had reviewed my dating profile and liked it.

"What the hell?? Why is my phone telling me MEN are reviewing my DATING profile??"

"I set it up for you."

"Why would you do that??"

"You need something besides me to focus on. You're already over the top about this school thing and it's only day one. I have an image, you know."

"An image? You're ! The only image I want see out of you is the image of a good student."

I know that one day I'll probably laugh about this, but right now, I'm kind of mad at her.

On a positive note, we did manage get a 2.65 mile walk in, spent 1 hour and 10 minutes in the sun, and I got the satisfaction of watching her fall through the crusty snow into an icy puddle on the way back to the apartment.

I told her it was Karma for the dating profile thing.

We got a pretty good laugh out of it.
18 Comments
Carol Fucking Baskin.... You brought on the virus!
Posted:Apr 5, 2020 5:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2020 3:59 am
32620 Views
So, yah, I'm a lil behind this one....

But after seeing the Carol Fucking Baskin memes everywhere, I had find out what the heck this was about.

It's a train wreck I can't pull my eyes away from.

I'm not quite sure what make of it ....

Except this.

How in hell does Joe Exotic keep that eyebrow ring attached?

15 Comments
I feel lonely today.
Posted:Apr 4, 2020 3:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2020 4:38 pm
30987 Views

The Spawn is face-timing with her best friend and my Middle is at work right now....

Leaving clean the kitchen for the 9 millionth time today and listen to the downstairs neighbor lady hack a lung while she smokes her smokes.

Everything about these neighbors disgust .

I wish the Kool Aid Man would bust through their apartment, leaving it a complete loss.

Hey Kool Aid Man....

Over here! Take these assholes OUT!

Maybe I could get a little fresh air breathe for a change....

I miss being able get out days like today and just.... Explore. I miss road trips, seeing the sights, and going to places I haven't yet been.

You don't quite realize how important your freedom is to you, until you no longer have it.

For safety's sake, though, I will remain at home, safely sheltered.

Wishing for the day to come that I can hop in my car and escape.
19 Comments
Didn't I see you yesterday??
Posted:Apr 3, 2020 2:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2020 2:49 pm
34745 Views

As you all know, I'm considered an essential worker and am still required to get up and go to work every day. I don't get time off with pay during this, I don't get to collect unemployment if I choose to take a LOA to keep myself safe, and now I get to sign in to come to work each day and fill out a questionnaire and have my temperature taken.

Fantastic!

What's worse??

Being treated like a fucking pariah by shit head customers because I go to work each day to service their shit head fucking needs.

To the guy with the mask on who yelled at my coworker to get out of his way so he could walk past...

Stay the fuck home.

I saw you at 3pm Tuesday walking toward me as I headed to the front of the store. You went out of your way to create a big scene to distance yourself from me as I walked past.

I saw you Wednesday Morning when we opened early for the Aged / Immuno-compromised customers to shop.

And I saw you AGAIN yesterday when you were yelling at the bagger who had bagged your groceries because she remained standing at the end of the turnstile, keeping her 6 ft distance from the cashier who rang up your groceries.

You fucking asshole, keep your fucking ass home. If you are so worried that we, the essential workers, are carriers of the contagion, you should not be going to the store every goddamn day.

STAY HOME!

We ALSO worry about becoming ill. We ALSO have families that we go home to that are important to us. We ALSO have FEELINGS!

I hate to break it to you, Asshole, but probably 100 people touched the products in your cart, many of them customers who were shopping in the store before you. They pick it up, read the ingredients, check out the health information, put it down. Someone may have sneezed while walking past it. As much as I hate to see it, parents still bringing with them as they shop throughout the store, touching everything with unwashed hands.

The least of your worries is a cashier who you have to walk within 6 ft of.

Your mask isn't going to save you when you're at home, opening up that box of cheese its that's been touched by someone with the virus.
22 Comments
Well, she isn't painting viruses...
Posted:Apr 2, 2020 3:31 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2020 3:02 pm
28922 Views
But, she is painting this.



I can't help but love my Spawn.

When I got home from work tonight I was talking aloud asking her what she wanted for dinner.

"I can make chicken.... I've got some burger in the freezer.... We need to get this sausage cooked up. What do you think [Middle ] wants for dinner?"

"How about pancakes?"

"We could do breakfast for dinner.... Oh, that's right! [Middle ] is staying at Dad's tonight. I don't have to cook."

"Really Mom?!? I smell a favorite here.... No wonder I'm so skinny."

"You KNOW what I meant. It's much easier for me to cook when it's just the two of us. What a brat!"

"You know, you don't have to cook a big meal just because he's here. I can see who you love more...."

"Oh really! Maybe if I didn't come home to THIS in the bathroom....."



"You know you love me."

"You know I do."

And, I really do. I couldn't imagine my life without her.
14 Comments
Bring Home Crafts
Posted:Apr 2, 2020 2:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2020 3:04 pm
27583 Views

How do you know the Spawn is getting bored?

She texts you an SOS message at work to "bring home crafts".

I'm going to have to get creative and find some useful ways for her to spend her time.

I wound up buying a couple of canvases, some stencils, and acrylic paint for her to get creative with. I'm actually kind of excited to see what she comes up with.

She's a pretty creative little stinker.....

If I come home to a canvas full of artistically painted virus images, I'm taking away those paints!

My first thought when I had the idea to do canvases, and I'll admit I laughed when I thought it, was she'll probably paint some stupid viruses or something on these things.

Which led to me picking out stencils....
11 Comments
The Work BFF
Posted:Apr 1, 2020 3:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2020 3:07 pm
27036 Views

I don't get a chance to work with him often anymore, but I really appreciate the time I do get.

It's raise time where I work and this year the raises didn't come from the management staff within.

They came from the next level up on the corporate chain.

Unfortunate for those of us who have leaders that only give a Meets Expectations, no matter how hard you kick your ass, because "there's always room for improvement".

The worst part about the whole thing is when the Boss Duo start the process by saying "You KNOW how we feel about you! You KNOW how much we appreciate you....."

But, here's your pidly 2.7%, less than cost of living raise.

"This is NOT the raise we submitted. We were upset when this was what was returned to us, this is something that is out of our control, though. In an effort to keep it fair and consistent...."

Etc, etc....

"But we know now, going forward, we need to be more diligent in rating you on what your efforts are instead of....."

Bastards!

I don't know how many times I've heard.... "Don't worry about them! Don't worry about what corporate thinks! I do your eval, I decide your raise!"

Lies

What does this have to do with the Work BFF?

He came to my office to tell me about his incentive talk, I was still smarting over mine that happened on Monday.

I couldn't stop myself and started telling him about my experience and how disappointed I felt. Before I knew it I was getting teary eyed and said I had internalized a bunch of it and apologized.

He was getting teary eyed too.

Thankfully his phone rang and someone came to my office in search of help with something, so the conversation ended, otherwise I'm certain I would have ended up breaking down and crying.

How do you know a work bff is a true friend?

Empathy

Only a true friend will have empathy for what you are going through.
11 Comments
And.... Cut!
Posted:Mar 31, 2020 4:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 2:29 am
25613 Views

Monday was a complete fucking bust, all the way around.

From my raise, to my conference call, to my drive home, to my text conversation last night....

A complete fucking shit show.
15 Comments
Saturday night in...
Posted:Mar 30, 2020 3:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 3:14 pm
22426 Views

Your fingers were entwined in my hair as I smoothed my hand across your lower abdomen...

Lying upon my bed, I had been sleeping while you watched the new season of Ozark, unable to sleep.

The muscles and skin grew tight as your cock was becoming firm... Sliding my hand down, just a little further, I felt the soft skin of the head of your penis in my hand, pulsing.

"Oh! I bought something to wear for you!"

"I know. I've been patiently waiting for you to break it out all night."

"I totally forgot until just now! Hold on...."

Hopping up, I grabbed the innocuous looking garment box from atop my jewelry armoire and headed into the bathroom to spruce up and change.

"What do you think?"

Emerging from the bathroom, I walked toward where you were laying and stood beside you.

The smile....

Throwing the covers back, you scootched in and patted the bed beside you.

"I think I like it."

Climbing astride you, I bent down to kiss you several times before finally inching back to take your cock in my mouth.

When I'm above you, the head of your cock fills my entire mouth....

I squeezed your shaft with my hand, my lips slipping past the ridge of your cock as I slid my tongue across the tip to taste the precum.

This didn't last long as I wanted you inside me so badly.... Up until now, the evening had been merely talking and streaming Netflix.

I took my place beside you, your hand quickly finding it's way between my thighs...

Something I've grown to lust for.
15 Comments
Portal to hell?
Posted:Mar 29, 2020 4:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2020 5:40 pm
20418 Views

Or, the downstairs neighbors apartment....

One in the same.

The snow has finally melted enough that I could use the walking path behind my apartment get a walk in.

It felt amazing just get out of the apartment and stretch my legs a little.  
my way back I could see the downstairs neighbor's apartment from a distance.

It was white trash squalor.  

The blinds are literally stained yellow from the nicotine in their cigarette smoke. 

I've never seen anything like it.  

The closer I got the building, the more I noticed.

The screen their door wall now has a giant hole in it, presumably from one of the many dogs they have.  Dogs they NEVER let out of the apartment....

I avoided looking into the apartment itself as the last time I did so I caught a sight I wish to never see again...  But I did notice there was a pile of cigarette butts on the ground by the edge of their cement patio.  

On the windows and doors were window clings of snowflakes and winter themed decorations.

I've never heard one, but it made me wonder if there as a down there.
I hope to God there isn't...

I can't even imagine what it's like down in that apartment, cause after one month of having my air purifier, I've already needed to change the filter.
14 Comments
Totally Scandalous
Posted:Mar 28, 2020 7:10 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2020 2:25 pm
21902 Views

So, yah. I plan on breaking the social distancing rule today.

I figure, I'm out there every day at work coming into contact with God knows how many people between the new hires and the customers...

The least I should be able to do is enjoy myself on my frigging day off.

Dontcha think??

Hell, he's the one living dangerously, I might add. I'm probably way more risky considering I'm the one who's been out in the world exposed to the public at large. He'd better be coming equipped with the tools to take my temperature, a hazmat suit, and sanitizer.

That's when the fun really begins...

Hey baby.... I like it when you stroke my tarp encased penis region.

How about laying a little on the ole respirator mas

Mmmm.... That's a lovely mixture of bleach and alcohol based hand sanitizer you're wearing.

My one burning question is... Just how long does this 2 week quarantine last? I mean, it's been 2 weeks already for me since all this chaos started. Is it 2 weeks each time I'm exposed the public? I'll be forced social distance myself for the rest of my life.
29 Comments
Last night I had a dream...
Posted:Mar 27, 2020 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2020 5:34 pm
17402 Views
I had a dream that I was getting romantic with Nose Hairs.

Egads....

I heard him talking today about how he didn't have to worry about getting hair cuts anymore because all the 'hair cutting places' are now closed.

I'm certain that was meant for my benefit as I told him the other day he needed a hair cut, he was starting to resemble Kaitlin Jenner.

He responded with.... Ok Piglet.



Which made me realize... this guy is keeping tabs on my faceplace posts. I had posted this because it had made me laugh the moment I saw it and I knew it had to be shared.

I pictured myself more as the Pooh Bear though....
16 Comments

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