The Beast Burrow
 
All things Beastly for my millions of adoring fans to enjoy on a daily basis.
Also - Where my minions come to check their work schedules, review their job assignments, and pick up their paychecks. Your check is down that hallway to the right #4562. Keep going. You'll see the door....can't miss it. Keeeeeep going.
Aaaahhhhh He's a good kid.
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The future's so bright...
Posted:Nov 20, 2020 1:10 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2020 9:14 am
292 Views

I'm joking of course. The future is looking fairly dark and gloomy. The "crazy conspiracy theorists", myself included, tried pointing all of these puzzle pieces out over the years, but the Coincidence Theorists always laughed.
Now most of the puzzle pieces are coming together to form the bigger picture.
The forthcoming vaccine will most likely be made mandatory, linked to people's ability to work or shop for food and other necessities.
Many of the stronger believers within the religious community are already discussing the "Mark of the Beast " from Revalations.
I'm already anticipating some tragic events such as fathers taking out their families to save them from having to accept the vaccine among other things.
Politicians are talking about switching to crypto currency, and that will likely be linked to an implanted microchip for everyone. Those religious types aren't worried about a vaccine probably won't be so accepting of having get chipped in order have access their money.
doesn't help that B. Gates recently applied for patent number 060606.
's an old Chinese curse that says, "May you live in interesting times.".
I think we're all living in them.

BEAST OUT
4 Comments
Picture worth 1000 Douchebags
Posted:Nov 7, 2020 1:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2020 9:17 am
556 Views

The Beast's last post stirred up some controversy. Some people don't want to accept facts if "their gut" or "personal experience" disagrees with those facts. It is what it is.
The back and forth within the comments brought up a different subject entirely. Whether here within the blogs, on the Book of Faces, or anywhere else in social media circles, people love to focus on a single picture of their opponent and pretend that completely encompasses everything about that person. The person's entire character, life experiences, and expertise can somehow be disregarded due to a single photograph apparently.
The Beast posted a previous year's, custom made, Halloween costume photo for the month of October. Followers of my blog years ago know I put a great deal of time and effort into making quality costumes each year. It's been a fun little hobby for the past decade.
Amazingly enough....that isn't all there is to me though. Who could imagine? I also managed to complete a 20 year military career, raise a I adopted, helped friends and family along the way, and a bunch of other things that people tend to do during this life.
When someone on social media doesn't like the way a discussion is going for them, however, and they don't actually have a solid argument of their own, one of the most common tactics they employ is to pick out that single photograph and attempt to paint it as the total sum of another person's life.
It's a really weak and predictable tactic at this point. People are going to keep doing it though. Grown adults who probably scold their for picking on other 's flaws resorting to, "Well....look at that picture of yours!"
LOL. It's humorous in a way I suppose.

BEAST OUT
0 Comments
Squirt revisited.
Posted:Oct 24, 2020 10:38 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2020 12:42 pm
1182 Views
The Beast covered the phenomenon of female "squirting" years ago here in the Burrow, but I thought I'd revisit the topic once again.
There are still a large number of women who either claim to be squirters in their profiles, or express the desire to find a partner who can make them squirt.
I've said it before and I'll repeat myself here. You aren't squirting. To be more specific...you aren't squirting what you think you may be squirting. What you're doing is pissing the bed, floor, car seat, or other location you're occupying at the moment you achieve the mythical squirt.
That's not to say you and your partner aren't having a grand time, or that you aren't genuinely feeling extra satisfied. It's just a fact.
There isn't a Top Secret reservoir hidden deep inside your lady parts which holds a cup of "squirt" just waiting to be tapped. Science would have found that sucker by now.
All serious research into squirting has revealed the liquid to be chemically identical to urine, because that's what it is. Researchers have even measured the amount of liquid in women's bladders before and after they achieve DEFCON SQUIRT, and sure enough, their bladders empty during the event.
All The Beast is saying is that you can change your list of kinks from including Squirting to enjoying Golden Showers.
35 Comments
Queens
Posted:Oct 15, 2020 1:07 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2020 12:42 pm
944 Views

There's a faction of white women who strictly date black men and refer themselves as, "Queens of Spades". Many of them get the official Q inside a spade tattoo the inside of their breast, their neck, or their ankle where black men will hopefully notice it and know they can make their approach.
I think black women who prefer date white men should start calling themselves, "Cracker Queens ". Their tattoo can be a Q inside a Saltine or Cheez It shape.
That shit would be funny.

BEAST OUT
4 Comments
Who designed this stupid thing anyway?
Posted:Oct 10, 2020 11:49 am
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2020 11:58 am
923 Views

What's up, citizens of East AFFington?

First of all... The Beast is aware that there's a Blog Beast creeping around out there, eating up certain words within blogs as if they were tacos. I'm not going to post my post inside the first comment or whatever it takes. I trust anyone who bothers to read blogs has enough Grey matter to figure out a missing word or two based on the surrounding context.
Now..... Pain Receptors. Who designed these stupid P.O.S. anyway? If it was a higher power, he/she/it must have passed the buck on that one to a subordinate.
You can do something to your body which doesn't actually cause any lasting damage or blood loss, yet your brain tells you that you're essentially dead inside of 3 minutes strictly from the trauma. Stubbing a toe is a great example. No broken bones, no blood loss... but pain register through the fucking roof. You'd rather just be shot in the head and get it over with.
On the other side of the coin, you have those times when you don't even realize anything has happened until you notice blood has been soaking your sock and you find a 3 inch gash in your shin. Even after the gash heals, you never quite get one hundred percent of the feeling back in that part of your leg.
Pardon The Beast for using the word, but this is a retarded system for pain recognition.

Now let's go kick the asses of all those West AFFingtonians! Who's with me?

BEAST OUT
0 Comments
I'll embrace the negativity.
Posted:Oct 8, 2020 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2020 4:05 pm
971 Views

The Beast used to get annoyed by the number of women whose profiles are more or less five paragraphs of complaining about men and one paragraph about hoping to hook up with a man.
Now that seven out of ten profiles appear to be completely fake, with comments such as, "I'm a lovely and communicative woman and hope to find a kind and generous man with whom I'll certainly share all the warmth and humor of my life with. " ...I'm feeling much less bothered by the profiles that are full of spite and venom. At least there's a good chance the person is a real human being and not some scam artist in another country who doesn't grasp the way Americans speak and write very well.
I've never seen so many women claim to be "very communicative " as I have in the past few months here. If I see, "communicative " in a profile now, I automatically back out and assume it's a bogus profile. Real women write something like, "Hopefully one of you Neanderthals can string together two sentences. "

BEAST OUT
1 comment
Texting isn't the problem...
Posted:Oct 7, 2020 7:39 am
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2020 4:18 am
1031 Views

The Beast is about to admit to his high crimes and misdemeanors. I text and drive. I blog and drive. I shop online, read, watch videos, and even check out this very website and drive.
I drive 12 or 13 hours straight up to Michigan and back, usually doing something on my phone the majority of the trip because I stopped listening to my radio / CD player before cell phones even came along.
I do all of this and never come close to getting into an accident. I think I still drive better than 75 percent or more of the other motorists around me. I don't speed beyond perhaps a five or ten mph bump on the highway at times. I don't weave in and out of lanes, trying to get ahead of the next guy. I give others ample room to merge or change lanes.
I think the problem so many people have isn't that they're texting while driving. I think their problem is they're driving while texting. They're devoting the majority of their focus on their cellular device instead of the road around them.
I don't try to compose an entire email in a single go. I write a few words at most during a quick glance no longer than someone takes to glance at their fuel and speedometer needles. I read part of a sentence and then finish it after once again making sure I have several vehicle lengths of clear space between myself and the person ahead of me. On the highway, I usually leave a big enough gap for a semi to easily merge into if needed.
I began driving during the 1980s when we played with CB radios, tape cassettes, and engaged in all sorts of on the road tomfoolery while not crashing into things.
The problem today is that, even with much simpler, hands free devices and automatic electronic aids to assist a driver, people are even more engaged with the gadgets than we were back then.
It's just really not that difficult to walk and chew bubble gum at the same time as long as you're concentrating more on the walking and less on the chewing.

BEAST OUT
4 Comments
I've reached that age...
Posted:Oct 6, 2020 6:23 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2020 4:21 am
951 Views

...when everything is suspect.
The Beast has an appointment with a dermatologist in the morning to have a couple suspicious skin anomalies checked out. Hopefully they're nothing serious, but they both resemble examples of the beginning stages of types of skin cancer according Dr. Images.
I've been joking about it for the most part, but having my suspicions verified will likely cause at least a few sobering moments in my mind.
Even if they are cancerous, I'm sure they can be dealt with. It will still cement in my mind that I've reached that stage of life where anything can happen.
I guess I'll just wait and see what tomorrow brings and continue being my Beastly self.
Take care of yourselves, folks. My skin rarely comes into direct contact with the sun, so stuff can just get you anywhere.

BEAST OUT
2 Comments
Happiness Browsing.
Posted:Oct 5, 2020 5:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2020 9:17 am
989 Views
Very short post today.
The Beast owns different "Fucking Machines", purchased while pretending some human female might join me one day take advantage of my cool toys.
The less expensive of the machines is called a "Machine Gun". I just noticed today for the first time that the small print says, "Happiness Browser".
I'm sure that's just an unfortunate, lost in translation accident, but I think we should embrace it.
Instead of telling someone you're going to fuck them. Tell them you're going to Browse their Happiness.
I'm going to Browse your Happiness hard as fuck!
0 Comments
Passing through on a Turnip Truck.
Posted:Sep 29, 2020 4:56 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2020 9:17 am
1050 Views

This is just a bit of advice for whichever foreign scam artists are out there writing ridiculously worded profiles in the hopes of luring in a few U.S. suckers.
I'll give an example of some of the obviously fake profiles that have been turning up more and more frequently here.

"I am an exciting bright light lady and seek man who family oriented. I will be happy to give my man all my best intentions and warmest fires of my sex. My sex is will be always so hot and wet. I enjoy the walk, movie, quiet night home with my man. I hope to have family soon best of intentions."

My advice to the people writing these profiles is to hire someone who is actually familiar with the language. It's just a thought.

BEAST OUT
0 Comments
An abundance of Coincidence Theorists.
Posted:Sep 25, 2020 9:47 am
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2020 9:10 am
1147 Views

The Beast didn't plan on using the Burrow get serious, political, or worldly affairs on my readers, but seeing as how I don't really have minions any longer, I may as well get a general rant off my chest.
I noticed long ago that the average person won't accept much coincidence in their personal life. If their pudding goes missing from the office refrigerator a couple of times, and Bob has a chocolate stain on his shirt both times, they're going to be quick to suspect Bob of stealing their pudding. They won't automatically be convinced by Bob's explanation that it's just a coincidence.
Switch things up to the national or worldwide level, and the average person accepts the media / government provided coincidence explanation time after time.
I've spent a couple decades pointing out the "coincidences" to people concerning major events. Not just chocolate stains, but dozens of examples at times. Regardless of how many identical examples I can show them, their minds simply will not entertain the thought that maybe things were planned by the millionaire and billionaire pudding thieves who won't rest until they control every aspect of human affairs.
I won't name anything specific, but think of any major event in the past few decades which caused or will cause big changes our lives and I'm betting I can point out the buckets of spilled pudding.
I think it's too late to wake people up at this point. The Agenda 21 initiatives are underway, and Agenda 2030 is only a decade off. Most people aren't even aware of those international plans.
I said I wouldn't get specific, but I'll end with this. Just for giggles and to kill a couple of minutes, go to G oo gle Images and look up a picture of the new 20 Pound notes released in England this year. If you've watched the news at all in 2020, you'll notice an image on the bills that may look familiar because it's identical to at least one of the many artist's renderings of a Coronavirus cell. Then find a news article explaining why it's just another coincidence. Then ask yourself.....what are the odds? UPDATE - Now Australia has followed the Brits. Not only do their new 10 dollar bills feature a very Coronavirus-like, round, spikey design... but they found some Australian writer to feature who bears an uncanny resemblance to Mr. COVID Bill Gates. Isn't that another set of wild coincidences.....
Or wait for your "trusted news source " to once again come out and assure you that everything happens by coincidence, nobody meets in secret to plan things, etc....

BEAST OUT
0 Comments
Why dieting just ruined my life.
Posted:Sep 24, 2020 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2020 6:39 pm
1086 Views

I normally open with a greeting to my minions, but they seem to be nonexistent since my triumphant return to blogging here.

So after slacking off on my workouts and proper diet for the first half of 20
20, I decided to stop being lazy and get back to it. I posted an ad to Craigslist in search of a couple workout partners to help me find new motivation. One young lady answered the ad and we've hit my home gym together a few times.
That was enough to overcome my inertia, and I've been doing much better since. I either workout at home or at work if it's a slow day and I can get in some body weight exercises.
Along with working out, I also decided to eat salads or other low carbohydrates meals a few times a week for dinner. That brings me to today's decision to take an alternate route home which will take me by a Trader Joe's. They carry a particularly good veggie wrap I enjoy.
Pretty much the moment I took the alternate exit, I found myself in a slow-crawling traffic jam that's probably going to add thirty or forty minutes to my already hour long commute home.
It just goes to reaffirm that the moment you try to do something good for yourself, the universe will be waiting around the corner, holding a baseball bat, and will often drive a few nails into it just to be extra spiteful.
I should have ordered pizza.

BEAST OUT
2 Comments
Dot's hits the spots.
Posted:Sep 23, 2020 3:28 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2020 3:29 pm
1038 Views

Short post today, minions (he added hopefully),

If you haven't yet tried the mouth magic that is Dot's Homestyle Pretzels, you need to acquire a bag as soon as possible and shove your face into it. The best compliment you can give most bagged pretzels is, "crunchy". Thats really about it. They all taste roughly the same and share the same texture. Dot's takes the tiny baked bread sticks into an entirely new taste and texture dimension. I ordered two jars of honey mustard pretzel dip to go along with my Dot's purchase, but they honestly aren't needed. The dip actually interferes with the buttery, seasoned tastes and textures of the pretzels themselves. I'll save the dip for inferior pretzels (as if I'll ever buy them again).
Forget sex, minions. Shove Dot's in your mouth instead. Dot's never have a headache or ask you to cuckold yourself to some pita chips.

BEAST OUT
0 Comments

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