Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Knowing You Better Than You Know Yourself  

New2Midlo 54M
653 posts
11/28/2020 6:23 pm

Last Read:
12/13/2020 7:38 am

Knowing You Better Than You Know Yourself

In reliving certain memories recently, I happened upon a common theme that I'm curious about, as an overall dynamic. While my carrot cake bakes, I thought I'd ask the semi-general populous. No less than three women have told me I'm downright scary, due to the way I'm able to understand them better than they do themselves. The terrifying aspect for them was they were unable to conceal anything from me. Unfortunately, one couldn't deal with having a partner who saw right through any façade she threw up and it was a major contributor to our relationship ending. The truly unfortunate portion of that story is that she was The One (she bore no resemblance to Keanu Reeves, though). I may regurgitate some babble on her at some point, because she still lives rent free in my mind, but another time.

Staying with her, however, I'll share a quick example of my knowing her better than herself. We had two amazing dates, but she told me she didn't feel comfortable having me up to her apartment, even with the proviso I wouldn't push for sex. She didn't feel comfortable sleeping together until our fifth date. I was falling hard for her, something I'd not done since I had a learner's permit, and told her I wanted to be exclusive. She held me off for a bit, finally telling me after leaving her lecherous husband, she wanted to 'slut around'. I remember looking at her and saying, 'you do realize we're talking about you, right? The woman who resisted having me into her home on the third date.' We both laughed when she responded with 'I could be a slut if I wanted to'.

A pretty obvious example, but you get the idea. For the record, I've only ever used this ability for good, partially because I seem to lack the skill set for proper manipulation. I knew she had body image issues and was frustrated at not receiving a VP title, so I became her biggest cheerleader. It frustrated the hell out of me that she couldn't see herself the way I saw her...again, I digress.

Back to the point of this entry.

The question is what do you want in a partner? Feel free to comment why.

I want someone who:
knows me so well that we think as one
remains oblivious; I don't want to be vulnerable to manipulation
remains oblivious and doesn't see my flaws
sees through me sometimes, but only occasionally
has no clue what goes on in my head


New2Midlo 54M
1075 posts
11/28/2020 6:25 pm

No surprise, I see knowing what your partner's behavioral driver is represents a positive. That knowledge allows them to love you better than if they remained oblivious.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
11/28/2020 8:02 pm

You may be truly clueless if you believe that you understand women.

On a more certain note, do you use oil in that carrot cake recipe? I like oil recipes over butter ones for carrot cake...

blog on!


New2Midlo replies on 11/28/2020 10:03 pm:
Oh, I'm not so delusional to believe I understand women completely, but watching and communicating have gone a long way.

There's oil in that thar carrot cake I made. I use my mother's recipe, which is so good, she used to sell hers to restaurants. We weighed her three layer version and it was 15 pounds!

dogslife2live01 71M

11/28/2020 11:26 pm

yup! know what you mean i too knew people better than they knew themselves. till one day it hit me like two trains hitting a fly from two opposite directions.
people told me what they told me & i was hearing what i what i was wanting.
bonne vie

there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity


seems6666 53F  
4838 posts
11/29/2020 8:06 am

Interesting blog and 4 out of 6 voters wanted to be known inside out.,,, I think an air of mystery adds a certain frission to proceedings.
.


New2Midlo replies on 11/29/2020 7:47 pm:
I think an air of mystery is very attractive to most people and certainly adds to the appeal of someone. But in the context of taking the leap of faith with a partner, I think most of us would prefer there not be many gaps that remain unfilled. Just my €.02

missthee 58F  
4511 posts
12/13/2020 12:38 am

None of the above, sorry!

If anyone claims to "be able to understand me better I do myself" or "knows me so well that we think as one" I'd walk away from them a.s.a.p.

Our personalities are a work in progress, we evolve as we interact with the everchanging social milieu, so getting to know the other is a daily exercise.


Become a member to create a blog