Bit of a dilemma  

T_Louise 51F  
117 posts
2/24/2020 5:57 pm
Bit of a dilemma


Ok so, here is the scenario:

A man and a woman are in relatively early stages of their relationship. He is a bit older by 15 years. Both have said, I love you. He has a fantasy where another man is fucking her, while he licks her clit and makes her cum. She doesn't want anything to do with it, as it makes her feel uncomfortable, inadequate, and a bit scared of the whole thing. She is quite happy with how things are going now, without adding a 3rd. She wants to be with him, not with another man. He also wants the other man to be fucking her bare-back. She has definitely said no to that. She has also expressed her concerns of not wanting to do this fantasy in the first place. But, he keeps pushing for it, seemingly disregarding her concerns about it. She is feeling that she is not enough for him and he will not stop banging on about this fantasy, despite the fact she has said no.

Should she keep him with the hopes he will abandon that fantasy, or dump him because he is disrespecting her boundaries?

T_Louise 51F  
106 posts
2/24/2020 5:58 pm

Decisions, decisions, especially when there are feelings involved.


MoonKnight169 55M
26 posts
2/24/2020 6:35 pm

If he truly loves you he wouldn,t want you in any position that would ever make you feel uncomfortable,inadequate or scared..That's not what a man would do to you


JustLookn439 54M
513 posts
2/24/2020 6:37 pm

I took all of 3 seconds to realize this man has gay intentions and is more interested in another man with the woman as the bait. DUMP him as he won't drop this fantasy. Most times when a man wants a woman to be fucked by another man, he has interests in the man. Cuckolding, as they call it, along with other fantasies are not normal for straight men. We tend to have a possessive, jealous nature about someone fucking our wives, girlfriends, etc. I KNOW some will disagree, but I stand by my beliefs based on several observations and conversations with others on this site that started out they were straight, but then things clearly revealed true intentions.


lonlyforlove2 77M  
3616 posts
2/24/2020 6:37 pm

MHO. I think she needs to say "Next" find some one with lifestyle to fit hers.. this unwanted fantasy of her man will never go away and will haunt the relationship for ever, Time to move on... Never look back....

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YankMyDoodle69 56M  
71 posts
2/24/2020 6:38 pm

If he continues to press about it. Sit him down and tell him, in no uncertain way, that you have no interest in helping him to live out this fantasy. Also, tell him that if this is something that he needs in his life, thanks, but no thanks.

It's something that turns him on and he wants to take it to the next step. He has to decide which is more important to him, you or living out the fantasy.

Good luck


oldcowby 60M
74 posts
2/24/2020 6:45 pm

relationships are built on trust not fantasy, he will not abandon his fantasy because that is what gets him off


kissing_softly 113F  
211 posts
2/24/2020 6:57 pm

He can ask, cajole, plead all he wants, but no is no. Unless he gives an ultimatum or plans this encounter behind her back as a "surprise", I see no need to break up. He hasn't disrespected boundaries by voicing his wants, but I agree that it can be tiresome to keep hearing about it. Maybe just say "no, end of discussion". If reasons are given (uncomfortable, scared, etc.), it can give him something to try to change her mind.


jolielaide 48F  
1203 posts
2/24/2020 6:58 pm

Wow. I think I'd want to understand why my gentleman friend is pushing for such a scenario to be played out. And the need for bareback?? C'mon. Clearly my safety and comfort level is not a concern so I'd have to look out for that myself and continue to refuse the fantasy. Understanding the why may not help me say Yes but it could help me say No for good. A person who won't take your feelings into consideration is not the person for you


benard69 63M/63F  
5060 posts
2/24/2020 7:02 pm

You better say Adios Amigo...Cause he'll never leave you alone!


CedarsPrince 40M
1092 posts
2/24/2020 7:06 pm

If he doesn't respect her wishes, then time to tell him it's over. See if that changes his tune


positively4you 70F  
3777 posts
2/24/2020 7:09 pm

He is a disrespectful ass. I would dump him. If we are not on the same page sexually, it will not work.


Koffla 64M
55743 posts
2/24/2020 7:15 pm

She already made her wishes very clear, it is time for her to dump him and move on.


Bikes Are In My Blood

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Paulxx001 63M  
15373 posts
2/24/2020 7:25 pm

I think netflix..
is a better bang for her buck. πŸ‘πŸ˜Š 😎
... and his as well... for that matter... 😢πŸ”₯πŸ’¦

... is there another way to look at it.
Coincidence... or destiny The Bench


ClassicRock2015 66M
812 posts
2/24/2020 7:29 pm

We all have boundaries and they should be respected ...Male or female...I think finding someone new is best in this situation !


Jules1590 51F
6486 posts
2/24/2020 7:29 pm

Its a shame. If he can't respect her limits how much can he really love her? She has every right to have her doubts. There shouldn't be any pressure in a relationship that includes LOVE.
I always go with my gut. If her instincts are telling her to cut and run, that's exactly what she should do.


HuttValleyboy67 52M
416 posts
2/24/2020 7:29 pm

you both want different things, so I don't see it working for you. At the end of the day it is your choice and that has to be respected.
Hope it goes as painlessly as possible for you


Jds989812 38M
13 posts
2/24/2020 7:31 pm

Tell him truly how you feel. If he continues pushing for it then I'd say look elsewhere.


1Sexygoodguy11 54M  
553 posts
2/24/2020 7:50 pm

Bringing up a third person that early in a relationship is not cool. The only exception is that she says she is open to it in her profile, assuming that she had one in one of the many dating sites, which based on your description on what happened, answer is 99%, No.

Like Benard says, "Cause he'll never leave you alone!"

Good-bye Dude....

Stay Sexy My Friend.


T_Louise 51F  
106 posts
2/24/2020 7:54 pm

Interesting POV's...thank you for your comments. I appreciate them


Usemyhardon 50M
33 posts
2/24/2020 8:05 pm

It may be time to move on


LadiesR2B1rst 56M  
226 posts
2/24/2020 8:14 pm

It sounds like he is saying "I Love You If " ! That's just not Love in my opinion ! He has a strange fantasy about another man ! I agree with all the rest of the comments that have been written !!


Puddlesmoke4us 37M
1 post
2/24/2020 8:22 pm

A true love wouldnt disregard your feelings on the matter and push his own desires and lusts over her feelings


69ereatwetpussy 57M
3380 posts
2/24/2020 8:27 pm

Dump he find another sooner or later. She is better then that. She not a toy for all the boys. He lucky she still want him. I see nothing but trouble ahead.


funinnj19 40M

2/24/2020 8:29 pm

If you are not on same level it not GB oing to work


sasha3676 62F  
108 posts
2/24/2020 8:37 pm

    Quoting JustLookn439:
    I took all of 3 seconds to realize this man has gay intentions and is more interested in another man with the woman as the bait. DUMP him as he won't drop this fantasy. Most times when a man wants a woman to be fucked by another man, he has interests in the man. Cuckolding, as they call it, along with other fantasies are not normal for straight men. We tend to have a possessive, jealous nature about someone fucking our wives, girlfriends, etc. I KNOW some will disagree, but I stand by my beliefs based on several observations and conversations with others on this site that started out they were straight, but then things clearly revealed true intentions.
This is an interesting perspective on the situation .Even if this isn't the case if she's uncomfortable and has expressed this many times and he continues she needs to to dump him!!


h4rry66 53M
1943 posts
2/24/2020 8:58 pm

If he loved her then he would not be able to stand the thought of her being with someone else, let alone being fucked by this person. He needs to respect her wishes, no means no. She needs to set her position and tell him that if he doesn't respect her feelings and drop his fantasy fast and make sure it never arises again, then as much as she loves him, she will have to end their relationship as he clearly doesn't love her. In love he should be able to give him his life for her, not just a fantasy.


luv2lu2 51M
16 posts
2/24/2020 9:00 pm

If he doesn't accept your no then it is time to let go...


fisherman5999 57M  
298 posts
2/24/2020 9:22 pm

If you are Bi, this is one of the favorite things, the guy under gets all that drips out of her. Also there is a good chance, that the one fucking, will back out & drop down into his mouth, then he can 'accidently' suck the pussy juice & cum off of it. Also it is a good position for deep throating, the 'fucker', can switch back & forth between mouth & pussy.


Yours_4A_knight 55M
1286 posts
2/24/2020 9:26 pm

It seems pretty clear that no matter what he has said that he has no respect for her limits and likely no respect for her at all, the person in question should cut ties immediately, it will hurt less in the long run

Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.


looking4u69ca 59M  
3351 posts
2/24/2020 10:32 pm

If you really like him be honest with him. Tell him you do not want this and will not do this. Tell him not to bring it up again or get out of your life.
If you don't care for him all that tell him the same.
No means no.


jajo696 65F
1687 posts
2/24/2020 10:35 pm

I think you know the answer.....and have come here for validation. He is clearly disrespecting you and your boundaries. If he is not hearing you say . " No " in this instance what next and what else will he not hear. " no " to. The other thing is, if he wants to be sucking you while another is in you.....those are pretty close quarters.....does he really wanna be sucking another man? Ive learned that some men .....as they age embrace their bisexual sides.

Get out of this...runnnnnnnn as far away as possible, call it a bullet dodged ~~


MMXX2020 49M
149 posts
2/25/2020 2:08 am

No. Ditch him. He is not worth your time. You made it very clear that you do not want to involve anyone else. And he wants to put your health at risk too.


ukie51 68M/66F  
184 posts
2/26/2020 9:54 am

Dump him and run.


kzoopair 68M/67F
25704 posts
3/9/2020 7:28 pm

If it were NOT early stage of the relationship I might answer differently. People can and do change...but not always. A spouse has leverage in a relationship that a new partner just hasn't earned. This guy is a new partner so he should take no for an answer or hit the road. No means no and he should get off her case.

Become a member now and get a free tote bag.


Tbadboytoy69 60M
175 posts
3/15/2020 1:36 pm

He is a hidden Bi who wants dick and pussy at the same time. If he really loved you he would not push his fantasy on you.


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